confessions of a lazy ambitious girl.
I've worked close to 7 years and of those 7 years, I've been in 5 companies. Of those 5 companies, I've only stayed for a minimum of two years in 2 of them.
Some of these career movements were by my own choice - I had wanted more growth out of my career (funnily enough more salary had always been secondary). While some of these career movements were by circumstances: not being a good cultural fit (I never realized it's an actual thing that could happen until now!), laid-off, or companies not having the resources (headcount) needed for my projects to move forward.
The choices that I made were in hopes that the career woman aspirations I had for myself could be manifested through training and exposure in these companies. Somewhere along the way there may have been a part of me that just.. allowed myself to be lazy in terms of where and how I wanted to grow. Mostly, I relied on my managers to lead the way for me. I'm realizing now that complete reliance on another person is just me off-loading that responsibility from myself. Fear and shame probably played some part in me off-loading that responsibility.
I think it's admirable how some people can really turn a yellow spot into a sun - it's something, in my own ways, I have been trying to do even though I realize I have limitations of my own.
For now, I'm grateful for this space of reflection. In this day and age, it is a privilege to take a break.