quick life update
I've been drafting, and re-drafting various posts to get back to blogging.
In the (relatively) short time of four months since my last post, I seemed to have lost the ability to just write what I have in my mind, in a coherent manner.
First things first - I'm about to lose my job.
Not because of a retrenchment, or a layoff. Not quite. It's more like.. a mutual agreement that I'm not a good fit with the company and team. This is a first for me - I've never experienced this before. The closest experience I can recall to this is when I was in an eCommerce company that extended my probation against my knowledge and then decided that I needed to be put under PIP.
Granted, it's pushed me into a constant and unending identity crisis, financial anxiety, and a lot of questioning of the "value" I can bring to a corporation/company/team etc.
I haven't quite figure it out how I can deal with this but this video reminded me that:
- Life will always be Ambiguous
- There is no such thing as a true steady state in life
- I do tend to conflate deliberation with wisdom (analysis paralysis is out biting my butt again)
- And real freedom is in accessing the potential consequences of my actions and accepting them anyway
- Real meaning is in the happening, the creating, the making, the doing
- I should do more, purely for the sake of the experience and not the ego.
Secondly...... well I don't have a second point. It's just nice to have the capacity to blog again. I hope now with more free time and space, I get to share what I'm up to while I experience things.
A question to end the post: What does it mean to live well?